Monday, July 20, 2015

Okay Fisher-Price..

I built my cousin a lovely Fisher-Price house for his birthday and by built I mean that I assembled it and it turned out to be quite the adventure..

The instructions said that you only needed a phillips head screwdriver to put the house together - fan-freaking-tastic. I was thinking how difficult could this little house be right?! I build things from Ikea and Target so a playhouse, I've got this.

I did not got this.. I built it alright; it came out great and my cousin loved it - thank the lord because by the end of my adventure, I hated that fucking house. (It is actually a very cute house and the fact that the birthday boy loved it was even better but I could definitely go a good couple of years before I put another one together.)

I started out in the garage in my pajamas, there were only a couple of pieces in the box and I figured it wouldn't take that long which was great because I had to assemble it for the birthday boy who was arriving that afternoon. In about 5 minutes I was dripping sweat and resorted to sitting on the dirty floor because I was going to have to wash my pjs after anyways. I would like to point out that it took me over an hour to assemble the house and little did I know we were in the beginning of a heat wave! After building this house I have deemed myself suitable to give advice on the matter of assembling Fisher-Price houses.

On the matter of the screwdriver - yes, you need a screw driver but I recommend finding the one with the shortest handle you have ever seen because some of the angles you need to screw things in are difficult with a full sized one. Me, myself, and my bruised knuckles learned this lesson the hard way. Another note, you only need a screwdriver but it isn't the worst idea in the world to have a hammer on hand as well. There aren't actually holes for the screws, you make them yourself at the nicely marked indentation. I used the hammer to get the screw far enough into the plastic, in one of the tight spots, to keep it from falling every time I tried to get enough pressure on the screw to push the it through the plastic. Not only is it great to have a hammer on hand but you could use an assistant, preferably left-handed if you are a righty. It makes sense that when you're building a house one side typically has to mirror the other and if you aren't great with using your non dominant hand I would advise some help. I would also advise help for the roof and like holding all of the pieces together while the other person screws the screw in. If one of you is less than about 5 ft tall that would also be beneficial. I'm 5'10" which is kind of tall.. Thank God that the two ends of the house were open at the bottom and that I can comfortably sit with my legs tucked under me for a good period of time. In all seriousness though, I felt like Alice in Wonderland and my brother actually asked me how I had fit in the house when I was building it. You are in pretty good shape until all four walls are up and the roof gets a little tricky. IMPORTANT: advise for the roof - before putting it on top of the house, find the side that you need to drive the screws through. DRIVE THE SCREWS INTO IT ON THE GROUND!! Just part of the way but enough that they stay in place. Then, put the roof on and finish screwing the pieces together. Trying to get the screws into the plastic above your head while your other hand is holding the roof on the house does not work... Trust me, I tried.

Exactly what I looked like
I have a stellar bruise right below my elbow, one across the palm of my hand and another on my knuckles but I would say that I still came out on top. Next time, my brother is assembling the house.

I know that this is an extremely random post but there is actually some good advise in it if you ever find yourself in a similar position. I had quite a bizarre week and felt that someone could learn from the errors of my ways.

Let me know if you have any experience putting together one of these houses/if you have any advise of your own in the comments below!

xox

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